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5 Types Of Facebook Updates To Avoid

As you might have noticed I am a firm believer in the power of social media, maybe even verging on evangelical. It’s existence has been brief  in the universal timeframe, so there have been no instructions handed down from ‘on high’ on 5 Types Of Facebook Updates To Avoidhow to best interact and play with this shiny new toy.

Governments have banned Facebook and Twitter, and some sovereign powers and groups even want to censor the ‘Net”.

We certainly didn’t receive instruction from our parents on the ‘Do’s and Dont’s’ of Facebook and that we should not be Facebooking while driving or after a relationship breakup.. you might find that engaging the brain before opening that status update box and emotionally typing could be the worst thing you have done in a long time.

We are still just working out that texting while drunk is not a healthy activity and sending  messages of ‘heartfelt honesty’ to your boss while inebriated during moments of  ‘Beer Goggle’ clarity at 2am on a Saturday night  is very likely to find you with a very clean desk on Monday morning.

There is no formal curriculum in high school on the moral issues of Facebook updates or what you should post on Twitter.

I have heard that the commandments on how often you should tweet are hidden in some secret vault in Siberia that only will be revealed when the time is right. In fact I and many others, I am sure, have been told  that we tweet to much. By the way, I have not yet told anyone that they don’t tweet enough.

So what are some of the types of updates and situations where we should be refraining rather than participating.

1. Incidental Happenings

This has to be one of the 7 wonders of  world that we as a species are prone to shout out and pronounce on Twitter or Facebook …  ‘just clipped my nails’ or ‘found a grey hair where it shouldn’t be’.

We don’t walk into the office and shout  out ‘I can’t believe it… I left a tissue in the washing last night’ unless you are looking for a demotion or some extended unexpected leave, maybe evolution is reversing and we are about to become extinct if we keep up this random behaviour. Charles Darwin would most probably roll over in his grave at Westminster Abbey if he heard about this latest update to the ‘Origin of the Species’

2. Inspirational Wisdom

It is very possible that the writer never applies the wisdom to their own lives but thinking they are the new Norman Vincent Peale and have decided to take up the mantle of  the ‘Transcendental Twitterer’ or Facebook Inspirational Guru.. everyone knows that they are just good at Googling or reading and are bored with watching TV.

5 Types Of Facebook Updates To Avoid

3. Quotes

This shows the reader that the updater is  really good at copy and paste. It is not a sign of intelligence despite the fact it all their friends on Facebook give it a ‘like’ or a ‘thumbs up’

5 Types Of Facebook Updates To Avoid

4. Farmville Participation

‘It is cute to hear from a 5 year old that she needs help to find her ducks on Farmville but if your over 50 and male it just ‘isn’t right’.. just be thankful it can be turned off …but only  if you have the specialist skills developed at university to find it buried in Facebooks one million privacy and security settings.

5 Types Of Facebook Updates To Avoid

5. Inappropriate Information

Now this is one type of update that I am sure you have seen pass by your screen, where someone announces something like.. ‘I can’t believe that Lucy cheated on him‘.

Instead of using Facebook they should  just drop down to the local bar or Pub or maybe even a street corner on a busy afternoon, get out the megaphone and announce it to the passing crowd, at least that would be displaying some courage.

So I have a suggestion.. Facebook should have a special button called ‘Stupid and Innane Updates’ , ‘Drunk Updates’  or ‘Updates for when you are emotional’ and every night when we come home from work  we could log in hit the button and have a really good laugh.

What do you think ?

If you like the the T-Shirts “No-One Cares About Your Stupid Farm” you can find them at “TweetTees

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